Probably The Most Depressing Novel You'll Ever Read... Part 3

"Is that a plunger coming out of that BOTTLE? o_____O"

Okay, OKAY.... I can't delay you from the horrible memories of Charlie's ANYMORE.  *SIGH*  So after Charlie had his
surgery, he progressed slowly and slowly to become smarter.  At first, he was frustrated and thought that the surgery didn't work because Charlie has struggled SO hard to become smarter... Everyday after work, he goes to Ms. Kinnan's class, does his progress reports, learns something new everyday, and falls asleep to a monitor that subconsciously teaches him things.  As he becomes smarter and smarter, the spelling of his progress reports improves, he learns things at a rapid rate and he learns things about himself.  He realizes that his friends are jerks who used him to get their... SICK KICKS.  People start to treat him differently because they feel "dumb" around him.  Charlie even starts to understand his, *ahem* ACTIVE glands... He starts to see the world around him for what it is... and it's sooooooo CRAPPY... Okay, I LIED... I didn't exactly tell you the "stories" but they are SO HORRIBLE that I didn't tell you so... you can call a "whambulence" cause I AIN'T TELLING!!!!!!!! >:(

           



Probably The Most Depressing Novel You'll Ever Read... Part 2

"Charlie after some "sophisticated" changes in both brains AND looks... WOW, you would've known that experiments to make you smarter could make you sexier as well... *WOLF* ;)... JK JK..."

Well, I promised you that I would tell you all the BAD, HORRIBLE, DEPRESSING, AWFUL, S dash dash dash TTY things that have happen to this poor young man... :(  After his test, he starts to progress in his intellectual skills... he starts to see the world around him as a horrible place and all of his bad memories come back... there's so many that I can list... but they are just soooooo horrible, that I'll have to tell you in another blog because it'll take up TOO much of your time! ^_^  All in all, he falls in love, gets hurt, the people he thought cared for him don't because they liked it when he was "dumb" and they could riducule him... Theres more that I just donr wanna say... :( And yes... this blog wasn't funny this time...

Probably The Most Depressing Novel You'll Ever Read... Part 1

"As you can see, Algeron is much kewler than you'll ever be... all because of this model screen shot that was taken... there he is posing like a BOSS."

After I finished ze Maltese Falcon, I decided to challenge myself by reading the full story of Flowers for Algeron.  And, oh mang, its a excellent story, so touching, so heart breaking that it is making my eyes rain... :'( Prepare to be moved.  Well, the story is centered aroundand narrated from the progress reports of 32 year old Charlie Gordan, a mental handicapped man who works at Donner's bakery in New York City who yearns to be illgent like his friends at the bakery, like Frank Reilly, Gimpy, and a couple of others... (but who really aren't his pals, but a bunch of d-bags, jerko**, a**holes who treated him like crap for his whole life, but Charlie didn't know it.  Using him to get their sick kicks, hate people like that...>:C) Sorry for the French, but you'll understand when all is told, and you TOO will feel Charlie's pain.  Charlie goes to Collidge College everyday after work to get reading/spelling lesson from the purty, friendly Ms. Kinnian.  He writes progress reports everyday and takes many tests with Pr. Nemur and Dr. Strauss. He is very slow and can't interpret what is being read, or said to him.  Anyway, he accepts to having surgery on his brain to make him smarter...  A test that was done to a laboratory mouse called Algeron and was successful.  In just 2 weeks, he becames smarter... I'll tell you the worst parts later... :(     

MEMORIES... ALL ALONE IN THE.... uh... how doe's that song go again? :/

"Hmmmmm, that's funny... where is the part of the brain that consists of EMPTY BRAIN FARTS?  And is this a woman or man?!! o_O" 

WARNING: THIS BLOG IS CLEAN...

In our most wondrous class of AP Literature-ness, we played a amusing little game that showed us how well our noggins work.  Each one of us had to remember a memory, write it down on paper (Even draw a little embarrassing sketch of the event), and tell our fellow classmates about it.  And we switched so that everyone knew everyone's memory and yadda, yadda, yadda.... Well, when it came to remembering my classmates memories, I had the advantage of having a pretty darn good memory in the first best (Yup, *sigh*, I know... ;D ) and chewing on a piece of fresh minty gum earlier... What I remembered most was the descriptions, the colors, the feelings of what I was being told.... meaning that I remember things vision-ally rather than orally (Please... don't laugh when the word "orally" shows up in my blog... :P )  Like, lets say their was this Creeper Mc'Creep pants or Boobs Mc' Pervert or whatever name his name is that was hitting on me with chessy, unclever, sleazy pick up lines.  I'd rather remember that weirdo's face than his fake name he uses to talk to unlucky girls he happens to lay his eyes on... Actually I would have to have my memory wiped so I can forget about that... that... UGGHH...   Most of my classmates memories were either happy, about going to places I've never seen or WILL ever see, from cute wittle puppy's to kissing whales. (Awwwww ^ ^ ) or they were painful ones that have left emotional scars, such as being bit by a rabid deadly mouse of destruction or dogs "accidentally" killing their pets that they loved more and the dog was seeking revenge... Yeah, pretty heavy stuff o_O  It was also ironic that we would add "other" details that we forgot... teeheehee... *AHEM* These remind me of one particular memory of my that happened years ago and oh, how I've  wished it to go away, but life is cruel that way... Anyway, during the earliest stage awkward, horrid puberty years... I had a extremely short hair, was a giant among children my age, and bloater than a Macy's Day Parade balloon...  If this wasn't bad enough, I was called a "boy" by many ignorant, BLIND you knew darn well that I was a girl...   I wasn't even a TOMBOY nor  do I even look like a BOY!!! >:(  Especially this one time when I went into the ladies biffy at a public rest stop.  A little girl, no more than 7 or so, looked up at me. (Keep in mind, I was pretty fricking tall...)  As her mother came out of one of the stalls, the little girl whispered, as all children do, in her mother's ear... AND like all children who don't know any better, have a social filter, and don't watch what come's out of their tiny mouths, she whispered in her little kid voice... "Mommy, was is their a boy in here?!!"  The mother shushed her and look at me with a "Please forgive my child, she doesn't mean it... OH GOD, how embarrassing" face.  At first, it didn't bother me... but years later, with insecurities and growing up, it NEVER left me... I've been insecure about it ever since. :,(  NOW, this can be related to The Sound and the Fury... considering that this novel consists of a dysfunctional family and all the terrible memories that reflect the family and plot... from their minds...  It's makes you, as the reader, go "Wow, they're screwed up man... thought my family had problems!" However, each character has a diffident memory and is an emotional wreck in his or her own way...  

     "*SIGH*... I guess little girls can pull it off better then I ever could... SAD FACE :("

This is an analysis, GET ME?!!

"Probably the kewlest movie poster EVA... Anyone who cares to disagree... will get IT!!!"
"Unfortunately... they don't make kewl movie posters... SAD FACE... :,{[ ) 


I have finished an excellent achievement in achievement mystery novel by the clever Dashiell Hammet (Who also wrote another classic novel," The Thin Man." Total Classic... ;}D )  This novel shows the true nature of men, their desires, and the horrible, HORRIBLE, things they will do for the moo-la.  Spade isn't a nice guy, cause he doesn't have time for that.... He's like Shaft, you know? Whose a d**k bad a** mutha and is a sex machine with the ladies?... SPADE!!! Awwwww YEAHHHHHH... *AHEM* Anyhoo, he isn't your Mr. Nice guy who would help little old ladies down the street or kiss babies on the head... Would you take him home to your Ma and Da?  Is he the type of guy with a button down shirt and " I NEED A JOB!!!" motto?   H*LL NO!!! And O'Shaunessy?!! PLEASE!!! She is a torn up from the floor up, floozy, HO fo SHO... (Sorry, but I felt it appropriate...)  Using her bod to attract stupid shmucks to do as she pleases with them... she is a really, really, really bad girl!  And the other characters?!! I'm... I'm... not gonna even go there... I enjoyed this novel because, well, it's a mystery novel and those books always have you on the edge of your seat.  You never know what is going to happen next.... 

 "FIN"

You'll Take You're Slapping And Like It For The Last Time!!!

That kid that was tailing Spade is named Wilmer Cook... forgot to add that last time because I didn't find out till recently...


NOW ON TO THE LAST BLOG!!!

"You're kidding me, you're bluffing... this thing is worth millions?!! It can't be worth more than Micheal Jackson's Thriller jacket could it... Wha, it IS?!!


 I've finished the book (Heck yeah!) ... See what happens is, Spade and O'Shaunessy talk to Cairo about the "bird" or "G" as they refer to it in the book, they tease Cairo about his homosexualiness, Cairo tells O'Shaunessey how much of a floozy she is, and then the cops arrive. (How appropriate...)  Anyhoo, Spade tells the coppers that they were acting... ha ha, cops leave and they get back to business, Spade needs info on the "G". So, long story short,  Cairo works for the Gutman, Spade goes to see the Gutman at his place... Gutman says that he wants the Maltese Falcon from Spade.  Gutman talks about the Maltese Falcon, a bird with a crap load of rare diamonds, or jewels, rubys, you know, rich stuff that people are willing to kill other people for.... was a gift from the King of Malta and was entrusted to the Knights Templar from the Middle Ages... so, in short, it's worth a butt load in moola.  Gutman puts sleeping drug in Spade's drink, Spade blacks out, wakes up in his apartment, a officer from work has been shot and has a strange package with him.    Spade and Effie go, "OMG it's not what I think it is?" (That bird... The Maltese Falcon)  Spade goes to the Gutman, Gutman and Cairo offer $10,000 this time, Gutman says that in exchange for the package for the moola Sapde will get, you also gotta take the blame for Archer, Thursby, and the officer's death... Spade says yeah whatever, gives up the package, AND...

  "What the... what is this... a FURBY?!!  I've been DOOPED, BAMBOSILLED... Why, I've been SPITTCKLEDWARFED!!! "   


Yup, the Maltese Falcon in the package is a fakie... Cairo gets into a little hissy fit, while Gutman sulks in shame.  They depart, leaving O'Shaunessy and Spade alone.  They have a fight, Spade finds out that O'Shaunessy killed Thursby and his partner... And so, because he had to avenge his pal, he turns her into the police... THE END!!!  
(A analysis will come next Friday, STAY TUNE!!!)

"Bros before HOES, O'Shaunessey..."