You'll Take Your Slapin' And Like It!!! OR The Maltese Falcon Numba Foua...

"My mind is like an endless enigma... I'm sorry, whadda say again?"

Now, to continue from where I left off, Spade starts to question Ms. O'Shaunessey about Floyd Thursby.  Well, the story is that O'Shaunessey was working with with Thursby in Hong Kong and they were "partners" (*AHEM*) And, anyhoo, she needed protection from the "bad guys" that were chasing her, cause, ya know, she did something BAD...  she said that she trusted Thursby but he betrayed her. Then she goes on and on about she has never been good although she tries and blah, blah, BLAH...  O'Shaunessey uses her womanly charms to try and convince Spade to help her (Which he's willing too *wink, wink*) and not tell the coppers about her.  Spade says yeah, okay, what eva, and leaves her apartment.  You can definitely tell nad feel that there's some TENSION and SUSPENSE happening here... She's goona use her body to convince Spade to help her off the hook, but he's no fool but rather a sap for the ladies... Theres something BIG going on, and Spade wants to know.  This book, so far, is the best mystery novel I've ever written!!! :)  And its toatally differnt from the John Huston version... (Mind you, there ARE two verisons of this movie out there... FYI...)

This is my only line...

"I'm just, ya know, CHILLING"

Hello, there... how are you?  I'm good.  That's great... I'd like to introduce myself.  I'm Sean O'Reilly and, yes, I'm a girl... I really don't like talking about myself BUT I have too!  Anyhoo, I'm 18 years old, live in the country, have a twin brother, two sisters, and another brother... I'm a Pattie- Polack, I ruve (yes, ruve) family & friends, drawing, watching movies, listening to music, relaxing, sleeping, plays, just about everything! I want to go to Moringside college and become either an Art teacher or a freelance/ professional artist.  Yeah, that's about it... thanks!

You'll Take Your Slapin' And Like It!!! OR The Maltese Falcon Numba Tre...

"Is Sam Spade gonna have-ta choke a dame?"

And so, to continue yet another blog on this marvelous and mysterious plot, Spade decides to go Ms. Wonderly's apartment or hotel place or whatever since... ya know... he can do that... cause he can do whatever he wants cause, ya know, he's  Sam freaking Spade!!!  Anyhoo, Spade starts to question Mrs. Wonderly, asking her if she would know you killed his partner, Archer, and that Thursby character.  Well, we (I'll assume the reader) discover that Ms. Wonderly name real name isn't Ms. Wonderly or LeBlanc neither (She registered at the hotel as LeBlanc...), but in fact is Brigid O'Shaunnessey and she doesn't have a little sister and that Thursby guy wasn't her "fiancee".  Of course, Spade didn't believe "Ms. Wonderly's" story in the first place because of how she "paid" higher than the required fee. Spade asks what O'Shaunessey why she would make up such a lie.  Well, she says, that she was paid by a English man and they are looking for this "rare" bird called the "Maltese Falcon", which is worth ALOT ($$Ca-ching, ca-ching$$)  So, now, both Spade and O'Shaunnessey will solve this "crime" once and or all (Of course... Spade can't "resist" her Irish wiles)!!!

          "The shoulder-pads in your robe are making me so hot that I can't think STRAIGHT!!!"



You'll Take Your Slapin' And Like It!!! OR The Maltese Falcon Numba Two...

"I told ya fellas that our book club is every Tuesday between 9:00 and 11:00 p.m.!!!"

I'll relapse what I've read, which is... little... (PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!! *hides under desk for protection) After seeing the dead corpse of Miles Archer laying in a pool of his own blood in that ditch dirt place thingy (I honestly don't know what it's called), Spade calls Perrine and tells her to break the horrible news to Mrs. Archer and returns to his apartment to catch some shut eye and try to forget what happened.  His sleep is interrupted by Tom Polhaus and his boyfriend Lieutenant Dundy who accuse him of murdering his partner, which he didn't do, saying that he did this and he did that... you know how cops are... (They get paid to be suspicious).  They leave and Spade goes back to sleep, trying once more, to sleep of the burdens of the nights.  
  

"Well, it's what we call "pillow talk" baby..."

Spade returns to work to find Perinne tired from having Mrs. Archer all night.  Archer sees Mrs. Archer crying and she throws herself at him.  He holds her with a "Aw Jesus" look on his face and comforts her. And from this, we can assume that they were having a little affair, proving that Sam Spade isn't a good guy.  She asks, blubbery, if Spade killed Archer.  Spade, with a WTF expression that says no I didn't and he kind of laughs at the idea.  He tells her to wipe her tears like a good girl, go home and he calls Perrine to his office.  Perrine teases Spade about his situation and Spade says that he wishes that he's never seen her.  Perrine makes a observation about how Spadfe couldn't resist her "rocking" bod.  Maybe, Perrine asks, if Archer's wife killed Archer... but, of course, shes wrong...       

You'll Take Your Slapin' And Like It!!! OR The Maltese Falcon Numba One...

"Film Noir... *sigh* the good ol' days when everything was in black in white, not just the movies...

(Fact:  Until 1948, the world was in black and white...)
This is the trailer for John Huston's 1940 masterpiece THE MALTESE FALCON starring, well, the trailer will tell you....
P.S. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THIS MOVIE, A TOTAL CLASSIC!!! ;{D
                                                                                                              

(Caution: These series of blogs contain 1940's gangster slang and are rather silly... parental supervision and a A Dummies Guide To: Mystery, Crime, Detectives and All That Jazz is strongly advised to younger readers...)


So, after the celebration of baby Jesus, the several days of laziness that ended too soon, and waking up in 2012 ALIVE... I started to read the classic mystery/ detective novel The Maltese Falcon by the amazing author Dashiell Hammel in the year 1929. (That's an interesting name... Dashiell...)
Sorry, meow, where was I? Hmmmmmmmmmmm, Oh, dur, right!  I was telling you about  The Maltese Falcon!  Anyhoo, this story starts out with a private dick literally (Thats what they were called back then), Sam Spade, whose facial features resemble "a blond satan."


"Man... Bogey is such a B.A. without trying "

Well, while Sam Spade is sitting in his office in San Francisco smoking a cigarette, his fair haired, sandy, tough yet sweet girl secretary, Effie Perrine, says that a Miss Ruth Wonderly, from New York City, wants to see him.  Perrine tells Miss Wonderly that see may see Mr. Spade now.  Miss Wonderly is a svelte stunner (A babe-her-ham) with dark red hair and blue sparkly eyes, her voice is lovely and soft, she seems charming and feminine, and she certainly catches Spades eye ;)... (He's good with the ladies, a womanizer if you will...)  Anyways, she explains her situation to Spade, talking about how her sister, whose 5 years her senior, has run elope with a man named Floyd Thursby from England who is married FYI  Her real concern is that Miss Wonderly's parents are on a vacation and will be returning to New York soon... they won't be very happy if they heard about their little girl with a man. (Dun... Dun... DUNNNNN.....)  So, Miss Wonderly asks Spade to meet Floyd Thursby and try to negotiate with him and to make sure he doesn't hurt her little sister.  At that same moment, Spade's partner Miles Archer, a stocky man, come in and introduces him, looking her up and down with hungry eyes.  Spade tells him whats up and they agree to take the case.  Miss. Wonderly pays them $200, (A lot of money in those days...) and leaves.  When she leaves, Archer remarks on how "sweet" she is.  Spade assists that Archer will meet this Floyd Thursby character. 

"Since when did we have our names on the floor?"

In the middle of the night, Spade gets a phone call from his apartment by Detective Tom Polhaus that Archer was shot by an English gun (A Winchester, a rare gun)... So Spade goes to the scene, sees his partner laying dead in ditch, is asked what Archer was doing there, Spade answers saying Archer was on a case, he leaves, feeling melancholy but acts tough anyway.  Then, when Spade returns, Tom Polhaus and Lieutenant Dundy accuse Spade of murdering Archer... which he didn't do.... 

"I said that I'm not, repeat, NOT sleeping with that producer again!!!